How To Prepare For The End Of The World

It's a bit of an exaggeration, but this is probably not far off what some people are going through this year. Personally I've been pretty lucky so far, I've still got my job, albeit on a reduced salary, but I've adjusted my outgoings accordingly so that it hasn't really hit me too badly. I'd say that I'm in the minority of pilots in this job who don't fully live to their means. I've always used the philosophy of trying to survive on 50% of my salary and either save or invest the other 50%. Yes I am a tighter than a mosquito's bumhole and I have no shame in admitting that.

However we all know a First Officer (or 25 year old short haul Captain) driving around in that leased BMW M4, oh what it is to be young, carefree and single. We've also seen the Rolexes and Omegas too. It's all brilliant stuff that makes us feel good and gets the likes on Instagram, but we all know that life happens. You get married and have kids so here comes the mortgage, the second car, child care, school fees and before you know it, your outgoings are up to £4000 a month. 

I'm not saying that people shouldn't enjoy themselves. Part of the reason why most of us got into this job was to reap the rewards as we built seniority through a legacy carrier or if we got that early short haul command. But no one at any point tells you how to be wise with your money, I mean if any of you can tell me a point in their lives where they were advised on how to look after their cash and invest wisely at any point in their education, work or during flight school then I'd be happy to hear it.

Before any of you accuse me or say something like "oh who are you to tell me how to spend my money?", you're right I literally have no financial qualifications. All I'm using is years of spending experience and lots of googling to come up with a half informed opinion. I just think looking after your finances is an important issue.

So anyway, when I first started this glamourous job as a self-employed director of a bogus company, I set about some goals; pay off some debts and save for a catastrophe. To be honest, some of the pay checks that I received in the early days were spectacular. And even more so when Brexit came and the Euro suddenly gained 30% over the Sterling. That meant, me and my other bogus director colleagues automatically got a 30% pay rise. Not long after that, pay scales went up and bonuses came in as the industry literally couldn't get enough pilots.

Now I've never been one to flash the cash, I don't particularly like unwanted attention, nor do I crave any kind of fame, which is why I wouldn't dare reveal my identity to anyone of you so don't bother asking. It's also probably something to do with my upbringing. At one point my parents were poor as fuck, so it was always drilled into my head as I grew up to save and be fucking careful with money. Of course, as with any young teenage boy, I was into wanking, gadgets and generally not listening to the opinion of my parents. I wanted everything, I couldn't understand why I couldn't have the latest games console or branded clothes when my cousins or classmates did. Thankfully, my attitude didn't stay that way.

Fast forward to graduation and getting a full time job. My student loan was only like £3000 (back when university fees weren't fucking ridiculous) and this meant that I had more to spend on booze and weed, and thankfully my part-time job at the time saw me through a lot of the expenses during my time at uni, so I wasn't in a dire financial situation. The first year of full time work was a huge write off, I don't think that I had a single penny to my name. Pretty much all of my money went on clothes, home entertainment and more booze. But I never dipped into the red. I always saw mates living in overdrafts, even though they had better paid jobs than I did, I just never wanted to be in that position. To be honest, seeing my bank balance reduce to three digits was enough to make my bumhole quiver.

According to a survey I read not long ago, owning expensive things like cars or watches doesn't make people happy. There was another survey that actually suggested that people were happiest when they weren't in debt. I can't seem to find this article or survey anymore, but it does make sense - imagine every month trying to do maths to work out how to make ends meet. If you're reading this right now and have never seen a minus figure in your bank account, then you should count yourself lucky. 

According to the Oxford dictionary, wealth is defined as an abundance of valuable possessions or money. Well, that was the first thing that came up on google so it must be correct. But we all see wealth differently. Some see it as the need to own loads of vanity related shit like clothing and jewellery. Others might see it as the ownership of assets like stocks or properties, some just like to sit on savings. It's fair to say that some of these forms of wealth are sensible and some aren't. For me it was seeing several of my best mates go through debt, which made me reconsider the value of wealth. I had one mate who told me about how his dad walked out and his mum passed away from cancer when him and his sister were both teenagers. The siblings were subsequently left fighting for survival, and both had to drop out of higher education and into the real world of work simply just to put food on the table. I remember him saying "I used to pray that friends would invite me around and allow me to stay for dinner just so I could eat". Those words always stuck with me. Another friend of mine started his adult life in a well paid job and got onto the property ladder. However due to family problems that I won't air in public, he ended up spiralling into a mind numbing level of debt. This was on top of having a family to feed, including his own parents who were both out of work due to disabilities. 

Thankfully, both of these guys are in a much better financial situation now, but they both serve as sobering stories. I'll remind you again that what I write here is my own personal experience and opinion, if you've never had these problems or have a mountain of wealth behind you then congratulations and you can stop reading. But some of you will be either figuring out how to budget for flight school, recently been made redundant, or like me, lucky enough to still have a job but on a significantly lower salary.

I don't want to turn this into a flight school bashing, but I gave this matter some serious thought recently - it's astounding that we have accepted that it's completely normal to dish out £100000, then fork out an extra £20000-£30000 for a type rating and at no point is there any information on how someone should look after or manage their finances when they get their first airline job, or any job for that matter. There isn't even any advice on how to save up or manage your finances sensibly throughout your time at flight school. Think about it, when times were good you could be in your mid-twenties earning well over £100000 a year as a captain on a short haul airline. I remember when I was in my mid-twenties, I couldn't even manage my bedroom, let alone the amount of money in my bank account. Society now is all about looking successful, YOLO, do it, be free. Like I said, I know exact how it feels to be young and earn an income for the first time, and I actually would advocate blowing it all in your first couple of years to be honest because life is for living. But life will also bite tear your sphincter muscle at times - things like boilers, the car suddenly needing something that costs over £1000, or something potentially worse happening in the family. No one actually sits you down and says something sensible like "maybe it's a good idea to spend a bit on the fun stuff, and save a bit for something that could fuck you hard enough to give you a new arsehole".

 "But I've worked hard for the money, I can spend it how I want, this pandemic is a one off", listen I lived through September 11th and the Global Recession of 2008, so that doesn't quite wash. Yes of course you can go out and lease that expensive car, buy that watch, buy that Mont Blanc pen, but where do you stop? With anything you buy, the honeymoon period will wear off, especially when it comes to flashy cars. Let's take the FO's favourite, the BMW M4 Competition. A 3.0L straight 6 cylinder, twin turbo monster that produces 444BHP. I'm not going to lie, I'd fucking love one of these things, but check out these figures:

• Initial payment £9428 
• £1048 monthly payment
• Contract term 48 months

That was off carwow and as this model is a little old so I do appreciate that there were cheaper lease deals before. But think about this, after 4 years you would have spent £59732. You can buy a second-hand model on Autotrader for around £40000 and these things were around £70000 brand new, so imagine you've just spent all that money on something that's lost 33% of that value. I'm sure it's fun, I love fast cars as any bloke would. But is it worth being tied down for 4 years on something that's actually depreciating? That's not even mentioning the cost of tyres and servicing, which is absolute arse rape on these things.

On the other hand, that money is at least a deposit on a house, which so far has shown to only appreciate in value or at least beat inflation, and you'll have spare change leftover to buy another nice car that perhaps doesn't require an arse widening amount of money. "but why do I need to save or get a property now?", technically you don't, but think about this. It takes the best part of 25 years to pay your mortgage, add to that the fact that your expenses will go up as you get married, have kids, etc. Now if you just plan on staying single and fucking forever then by all means, but even I know that all vagina feels the same after a while. So most of you will eventually have to plan for the future. Also, why pay £800 to £1000 a month to rent when you could have that same money going towards yourself?

I know that there are a lot of good guys and girls out there who are sensible and have invested wisely enough to see them through if the job goes to shit, but I have also flown with a few people who are in their 60s and desperately trying to fly as many days off as possible to top up their pension because they haven't saved properly or have gone through a really messy divorce (the latter can be another conversation) but you see there, as much as we would love to YOLO our way through life, we have to accept the importance of being financially stable. So now, imagine you've got these issues and then BOOM, COVID-19 literally ends your career, and you're left with a mortgage, tuition fees, bills, car finances, and possibly even your flight school debts left to pay. It's not a good place to be.

So here are some of my recommendations for both before and during your working life in any career path:

• Set a savings target - If you can put away 30% of your income on one month, then stick to it. Of course we know that shit happens and you might need to eat into that, but hey, that's where that 30% of your income from the past two months will save your arse. Spending the full whack of your salary isn't going to equate to happiness.

• Snack less and eat less shit food - we love a takeaway or a fancy restaurant, but just limit them. £100 for a nice meal is great for a celebratory occasion, but if you're constantly hitting grabbing sandwiches from M&S, that will mount up. Making something at home will be better from your wallet and your waist, so you'll having more money for bitches and you'll look sexier.

• Ask yourself if you really need it - if I see something newly released, I always just wait. Like the new iPhone or games console. I usually find that after a month I will have forgotten about it and I'm several hundred quid better off.

• Invest your money wisely - probably the most important one to think about. When times are good in this industry and you're at a reasonable airline that pays at least the market rate, you'll be on a pretty decent salary. Don't waste it. Properties are usually the safest bet as their value increases to at least match inflation, but I get that it isn't practical for everyone especially if you're having to potentially commute or you know that you're only staying in a certain area for a couple of years. Stay away from individual stocks because that's the same as gambling your money (I know from experience) instead, look at index funds. There's some good information on how they work and the best portfolios to have out there depending on the amount that you can afford to risk. Just know that there's no such thing as a short cut to fast money. Also, read up about the power of compound interest.

• Pay your debts before you splash out - whether it's your student loan or mortgage, you'll save on interest in the long run.

• Have a Plan B - I think everyone working in aviation now will now realise the importance of having something other than an aviation related job on the CV. Having another skill means that if Airbus suddenly make a new plane that flies itself, then you'll at least be able to adapt. Just be willing to keep hustling.

• Get loss of income protection (due to injury/sickness) - personally, I think you're bonkers if you don't have this. There are a few companies out there that offer this, I think British Friendly are probably the most popular among pilots. You pay monthly and the fees will depend on how much of you monthly salary you want it to cover and how old you are. For someone in their mid-thirties wanting a cover of around £2500 a month, you'd pay around £50 a month. That means that if you break your leg and lost your medical, you'd be eligible for £2500 until retirement age. This may sound like a lot, but if you can afford to splash £100000 on flight school, a £1000 iPhone, £800 a month to lease BMW/Merc, or a fucking £5000 Bremont, then you're a fucking nob if you don't have income protection. Even if you don't do those things, your life WILL get more expensive as your salary increases, especially if your family depend on you for income. Even if it isn't an injury, it's not hugely difficult to lose your medical.

So I hope that helps. Like I said, I'm not qualified to give any kind of professional advice, I'm just a bro helping other bros and hoes. If you make it through this horrific time in history then you'll probably be more rational with how you manage your finances and even in your career choices. Good luck and you can thank me by buying my clothing Best Pilot Clothing.